I love Google.

How else would I find the answers to all my questions?

I have an Idea. If you have a child around 3 years old in the "why" age, Just sit in front of Google and write down any questions he makes to which you cannot find an answer.

Read the first website that offers the answer and wait for the next "why??" from the kid and go on and on and on. Your imagination can let you down (or your ethics) but Google will never get short of answers… either would the kid ever loose his knowledge need and stop saying "why?", but eventually one of you will fall asleep, or get bored. Not Google though. He never gets bored!

Why do I write this today?

Well is quite some time I feel a bit lost and I am looking for a purpose in my life. After talking to friends, reading books and talk to a specialist I only find myself more confused than before.

Than the illumination.

Let's Google it!

So I googled:

And the second web page I found promised me that I could find it in 27 minutes for only 20£!!

So all this last few weeks could be just time wasted cause it could take me just 27 minutes and 20£ to find my life purpose.

Is a pity that I don't have 20£ to spend in finding my Life Purpose. I will spend them on some food instead...Than maybe I will Google:

If anyone found his life purpose on Google please let me know.

If anyone gave up after the second webpage like I did, please share the pain with me.

If anyone thinks I am crazy...Join the club!

Love you all my dear readers!

I missed writing.

I'll try to do it a bit more! Between going to shopping for food and trying to find my life purpose.

How fast do I forget what is important?

Is easy to think the important things in life, the ones worth doing, are the ones we should spend most of our time busy with.

Then I am not saying anything new when I point out how much time we spend doing things we are not interested in.

I am not talking for the lucky ones who love their job (or at least feel passionate about what they do). I am talking about the many (like me) who do not give a damn about what they spend 8 hours a day doing (when not 13 hours…but this is another story).

I came back one week ago from the most beautiful holiday in my life. I brought my boyfriend in the land which I am from (and which I barely know), I met wonderful relatives and I felt like if I was in the right place in the right moment.

Today I am in Dublin. The snow and ice are all over the street, is Monday and I go out from home when the sky is still as dark as if it was the middle of the night. If this was not enough, I come back home when is night already (even if is 5pm).

This routine is killing some part of me inside. I can feel it. I can feel my ability of seeing the best in things gone; I can feel my patience running away from the tip of my fingers, leaving me to go somewhere warm. I can feel my personality, my smiles and my love for dancing becoming smaller and smaller. I feel them hiding some place safe and when I need them is hard to find them.

I do not mean to complaint about what might seem an easy life. I love my life. I love what I achieved in my life. I love the person I am sharing it with.

Then again I feel like I am not taking the most from it. I feel like if I was not risking enough.

Isn’t it funny how brave I am if we are talking about leaving the flat in which I live, the job I have the country I live to go anywhere, I don’t mind. Then to do some extreme sport or even to walk on a glacier in Argentina makes me shake at the Idea. For my boyfriend is right the opposite. He would jump off a plane right now if he could, but to leave his job and this country that is kindly hosting us since years…he just doesn’t find it that easy.

The fact the we are fearless in different situations make us the perfect match (cause I did so many things I would have never done if it wasn’t for him, and I do not regret any) and I am sure he is learning from me how to be less scared about sharing feelings and emotions.

Now the question is: will he ever do the jump with me out of this cold, windy and rainy country? Or will we always live here between the green and grey of Ireland forgetting eventually all the other colours who are out there?

At the moment I wish we could plan a trip, a long trip of maybe one year or six month.

But the only thing I can plan is the next short holiday, right during one of my 8 hours working day.

Am I selfish if I want more? Do I need more if I want more?

An old popular proverb says: be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.

Maybe is true that what you wish for is not always what you need. But I feel the risk is worth trying.

In-flight Inspiration

Sometimes flying gives me other kind of inspiration (as you might see from my 3rd post).

But yesterday during my flight I couldn't help it, I had to climb up to get my hand luggage, find my agenda and then a pen. I had to write! This is what came out. Please be aware I was sleepy and tired after a crazy beautiful weekend. There are a lot of question marks and maybe doesn’t sound very happy (I was not happy to leave my new friends so soon), But here it goes. Dedicated to the great people I met in Budapest!

Today is Sunday the 10th of October.

I am flying back to Dublin from Budapest, where I spent a real great weekend.

I did Couch Surfing for the first time and I met some amazing People.

Now I am sitting here. Thinking about my future. Thinking that the air conditioning makes my eyes really dry. And thinking that my right ear is in too much pain.

Is astonishing how quickly can be the step from a great moment of your day to the worse.

How close can this two opposite be? I think about my life and what should I do with it.

If I had to answer to this question with two words my answer would be: ENJOY IT.

Why is it so difficult to enjoy fully this present called life? We all know is not eternal.

Not knowing the expiry date of it makes people live like there weren’t any expiry dates in our lives.

Like people forgetting the milk in the fridge not knowing until what date can be drank.

If I knew I had just “X” time to go, how would I really spend it? How would I organize my time? Just sitting in the fridge?

The truth is even if I would organize something, all the organization can always go wrong. Everything can change.

I used to think that everything happens for a reason (until up to 2 minutes ago) but even though I love this idea I realize how little sense it makes.

We are FREE to make decisions.

Even if anybody would be able to tell me RIGHT NOW the date of my expiry, there are so many apparently tiny daily decisions that could make this date change.

Everything is in my hands, in my choices.

We are the writers if our destiny.

I would like to be a fish

When I was volunteering as a speaker in a non-profit radio in Italy i had this program in which I would speak about the lyrics of the songs. Some Big hits (sometimes the biggest) have no sense at all. But one of the things that always bothered me is when the meaning of the song is obvious and nobody seems to pay attention. Mothers, little kids singing or humming along. Why? How can you sing when you don’t know what are you singing about? If you like to sing a song don’t you like to know what are you singing? But the thing that really bothers me is that not only usually people don’t share the point of view or the message the song is sending. Most of the times they do not even know what the message is, or if there is any. Is there any sense in songs like:

Mum mum mum mah/Mum mum mum mah/I wanna hold em' like /they do in Texas Plays/Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me /(I love it)\Love game intuition\(…)Can't read my/No he can't read-a my poker face/(she’s got me like nobody)/P-p-p-poker face, /p-p-Fuck Her face/(Mum mum mum mah)/P-p-p-poker face, p-p-Fuck Her face.

In the movie “music and lyrics” a 2007 American romantic comedy film, written and directed by Marc Lawrence, the character of Sophie fisher(played by Drew Barrymore) while writing the song for the musician Alex Fletcher(Hug Grant) says something that really explains my point of view about music and lyrics:

Alex Fletcher: It doesn't have to be perfect. Just spit it out. They're just lyrics
Sophie Fisher: "Just lyrics"?
Alex Fletcher: Lyrics are important. They're just not as important as melody.
Sophie Fisher: I really don't think you get it.
Alex Fletcher: Oh. You look angry. Click your pen.
Sophie Fisher: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.
Alex Fletcher: I so get that.
Sophie Fisher: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical.

To cut it short (I believe there is a lot to say about this matter)I will just take as example as song: Burbujas de amor of Juan Luis Guerra. From his Album .Album: Bachata Rosa, 1991.

As it is a song in Spanish here you have the original lyrics and the link of youtube if you wish to listen to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb-DQviyAG0&feature=fvst

Burbujas de Amor

Tengo un corazón,

mutilado de esperanza y de razón

Tengo un corazón que madruga donde quiera.

Ese corazón

se desnuda de impaciencia

ante tu voz,

Pobre corazón,

que no atrapa su cordura.

Quisiera ser un pez

para tocar mi nariz en tu pecera

y hacer burbujas de amor por donde quiera,

Pasar la noche en vela,

mojado en ti

un pez...

Para bordar de corales tu cintura

y hacer siluetas de amor bajo la luna,

saciar esta locura...

Mojado en ti...

Canta corazón

con un ancla imprescindible de ilusión.

Sueña corazón,

no te nubles de amargura.

este corazón,

se desnuda de impaciencia

ante tu voz

pobre corazón

que no atrapa su cordura.

Quisiera ser un pez

para tocar mi nariz en tu pecera

y hacer burbujas de amor por donde quiera,

pasar la noche en vela,

mojado en tí un pez.

Una noche

para hundirnos hasta el fin,

cara a cara,

beso a  beso,

y vivir,

por siempre,

mojado En ti

Here translation from Spanish to English goes like this:

Bubbles of love

i have a heart
Maimed of hope and reason
I have a heart that rises early wherever

And this heart
It strips of impatience
Before your voice
Poor heart
That does not catch your sanityI would like to be a fish
To touch my nose in your fishbowl
And make bubbles of love everywhere
Spend all nightWet in you

A fish
For your waist embroidery hibiscus
And make bubbles of love under the moonSatisfy this madness
Wet in you

Heart Sing
With an essential anchor of hope
Heart sounds
Cloud of bitterness Do not

And this heartIt strips of impatience
Before your voice
Poor heart
That does not catch your sanity

I would like to be a fish
To touch my nose in your fishbowl
And make bubbles of love everywhereSpend all night
Wet in you

One night
To sink to the endFace to face
Kiss Kiss
And live
Forever
Wet in you

Aren’t there many things I could say about this song? Think that kids at school get dressed like fishes and sing this song for the annual representation at school.  6 years old kids singing I would like to be wet IN you.

I agree the song is fine. I like it personally, but this double meaning is not even double anymore. Is just ONE big sexual meaning.  I want to spend all night wet in you, what can that mean?

But is not as easy as it looks. Now there are also videos of the songs. I watch the video and I see a man (the singer) watching from his doorstep a girl dancing under the rain. Than the girl start to dance with a younger, better looking man. This happens always under the rain. Here the question: If the Singer wants to be a fish, why is he waiting in a dry place with a big impermeable jacket? And why is this woman dancing with another man? Then the singer comes and hugs her under the rain. There are also amazing special effect of a little gold fish swimming on the screen while the singer…let’s call him Juan (his name)…while Juan sings. Now the biggest questions of all: which kind of fishes have you been dealing with, in your life Juan? No fish ever satisfy my madness by making bubbles of love to me. No fish ever has been wet IN me, if not chewed and DEAD IN me! Why do you wanna be a fish? Why do you wanna touch with your nose my fish bowl!? What kind of allegory is this?

This and many more other questions we could do to Juan.

I do like music and lyrics and I think they are like the external and the internal part in every person. What you want to show is the music. The lyrics are what you are inside. Well if this is true Juan, I think inside you are CONFUSED! And now I am confused to.

La mia amica

La mia amica è sempre con me, quando ho bisogno di staccare.

Il suo posto preferito è tra le mie dita e le mie labbra

Il suo odore e il suo sapore sono di famiglia.

Mi fa compagnia quando sono da sola, o anche tra centinaia di persone.

Lei brucia per me.

Il dolce suono che emette ogni volta che la bacio mi rilassa

E il suo effetto su di me e sempre immediato

A volte se non c’è impazzisco, devo uscire e trovarla e il primo minuto con lei dopo una lunga separazione mi fa girare la testa.

Altre volte la divido col vento di Irlanda. Lei va via per meta con lui, ma non sono gelosa. La porta in posti dove non posso neanche sognarmi di entrare. E lì che la immagino quando non è con me.

La mia amica mi fa male. Almeno cosi dice il dottore, ma non voglio, non posso credere che la mia dipendenza da lei sia più fisica che psicologica. Non è cosi.

Mi piace perche è mia, perche è con me quando ho bisogno di lei e non è mai acida.

Non devo chiamarla, scriverle, prendermi cura di lei…solo condividere con lei i miei momenti preziosi.

Indimenticabile ciò che mi fa sentire, ciò che mi fa provare anche solo stringendola tra le dita.

A chi mi chiede; perche ho cominciato a fumare anche se so che fa male rispondo: quale amicizia non ne fa?

La mia amica? Camel Light.

My first time - Flying in Jump Seat

She welcomed me on the back of the plane. As a stand-by staff flying I had to fly on Jump Seat. She was going to shake my hand and silly me I looked for the boarding pass. Her face was truthfully kind and her make up free pink lips were smiling to me. The Jump seat in fact is the seat where the flight attendant on duty seat. When your seat is not confirmed on a flight you can request the possibility to fly sitting on one spare Jump Seat.

As I am not a flight attendant She had to explain to me what to do in case of an accident. If She would have been for some reason not able to do her job. This made me feel more special than a regular passenger. She made me feel like that. She gave me a sandwich and offered me drinks even before the plane took off. The way She looked at me was different from every way I’ve been looked to before. We talked about where we come from and the way she laughed moving her head to a side showing me the neck made my heart speed up. I could tell She was flirting.

When the moment to secure the belt came,She helped me, as the Jump seat belts are different from a regular plane security belt. They are almost like a baby car seat, with two belts coming from above each shoulder and another two from each side meeting in a circular lock situated in the middle. She came close to me and I could barely hold my heart inside my mouth. To help me with the belt She almost hugged me and I could smell her and feel the warmth of her skin a few centimeters away from my face.

After that moment is fuzzy the way I saw her pulling the blue curtains and unlocking my belt, for a second I thought there was something wrong, but when she knelt down in front of me and start kissing me, everything was clear. I was wearing a revealing top and from my lips to my neck to my nipples she went down, not really caring about the plane taking off. The noise of the engine was covering our whispers and soon she had my pants opened and her fingers were inside me. I did not know what to do. It was my first time flying in Jump Seat and my first time with a woman.

I heard her voice waking me up offering me some chocolate and telling me to be prepared for landing. I woke up a bit sweaty and my neck was in pain. I could not believe what I just dreamt about. I blushed.

When the plane was landing she sat on the Jump seat close to mine but I was facing the exit and she was facing the cabin. Our heads were close and I looked at her and She turned to me saying – you don’t look like you are from Argentina with your freckles and red hair- I blushed again and said that I knew that and that I get that a lot. So She said – I was in Argentina and I know there is a bit of everything, you can look Argentinian too, but any way you look beautiful.-

When she said that, I knew that the feelings I had were not just my imagination. The way She said that made me believe that maybe I was dreaming, but she dreamt the same dream.

Voce del verbo To Blog: Bloggare Io bloggo Tu blogghi Noi blogghiamo...

Ho lavorato per qualche mese come speaker in una radio no-profit. Immaginavo, ma non potevo sapere quanto mi sarebbe piaciuto disperdere nell’infinito spazio internet la mia voce, le mie battute, le mie risate. Eravamo in due. Io e la fantastica Laura Dj. Credevo di aver trovato la mia vocazione. Parlare in radio, ad un pubblico che forse arrivava ai 20 ascoltatori era la cosa piú eccitante che avessi mai fatto.

Una mattina io, la donna delle mille idee, decido di andare a vivere a Dublino. Cosí. Perchè no? E da quella lontana ultima apparizione nel mio show chiamato “las almas de la letra”, vale a dire le anime del testo, non mi sono mai proposta di fare di nuovo qualcosa che potesse dare una scossa alla mia routine.

Inizialmente arrivata a Dublino nel Luglio 2007 con in tasca 300 euro era difficile avere una routine. Cercare lavoro, fare amicizia, trovare da mangiare e da dormire al minor prezzo possibile, erano cose che riuscivano a tenermi occupata. 23 giorni dopo il mio arrivo comicio a lavorare. Call centre per una compagnia aerea. Da quel momento i viaggi intercontinentali diventano possibili ad una cifra irrisoria. Comincio a viaggiare. Comincio ad aprire gli occhi. Fino ad ora grazie a Dublino sono stata in Messico, Argentina 2 volte, Giordania, Canada, Cuba, Sud Africa, Namibia, Tanzania, Zanzibar.

In tutto questo periodo di tempo scopro peró che qualcosa manca. Non si puo vivere in attesa di vacanze. Non si puó vivere aspettando quel qualcosa di meglio che arriverà. O almeno io non posso.

Per cui invece di lanciare le mie risate ora lancio in rete i miei pensieri. Che spero possano raggiungere parenti e amici o chiunque abbia voglia di leggere qualcosa.

Ogni commento o idea è il benvenuto.

Per cui scriveró i miei pensieri nella lingua in cui mi vengono in mente e buona lettura.